5 Tips to Cope & Move Ahead After Financial Infidelity

Have you ever discovered that your significant other made a large purchase without discussing it with you first? Or perhaps you signed up for a new credit card without informing your partner? If so, your relationship might have experienced financial infidelity. This form of dishonesty can create significant tension and trust issues between partners. Fortunately, there are ways to address and overcome financial infidelity.

What is Financial Infidelity?

Financial infidelity occurs when couples with combined finances are dishonest about money matters. According to Investopedia, it includes hiding or withholding financial information and decisions from a partner. Common examples are:

  • Secretly making large discretionary expenditures
  • Concealing purchases
  • Hiding debt
  • Withdrawing large sums from joint accounts without explanation
  • Contributing less than the agreed-upon share to a joint account
  • Making financial decisions that go against mutual expectations
  • Lying about money usage

Impact on Relationships

Money is a sensitive topic, even for committed couples. Deceit about financial matters can shatter trust and lead to feelings of betrayal, anger, and confusion. Rebuilding trust after financial infidelity is challenging but possible through transparency and cooperation.

You may be interested in reading our blog, Finding Your Number: What’s the Ideal Monthly Retirement Income for a Couple?

5 Tips for Coping with Financial Infidelity

  1. Focus on Facts: When addressing financial infidelity, avoid accusations and blame. Gather all relevant financial information and present it calmly. This approach encourages open discussion and collaborative problem-solving.
  2. Consider Financial Therapy: Couples’ financial therapy provides a safe environment to address financial issues. A certified financial therapist can guide you in managing money and resolving emotional issues contributing to financial infidelity. You may be interested in reading our blog, The Importance of Intergenerational Financial Conversations
  3. Work Together on Shared Financial Goals: Collaborate with your partner on financial objectives, whether it’s budgeting, debt reduction, or retirement planning. Teamwork fosters transparency and trust.
  4. Schedule Monthly Check-ins: Regular financial check-ins promote accountability and trust. Review your budget, accounts, expenditures, and progress toward financial goals together.
  5. Don’t Get Stuck in the Past: Keep discussions forward-focused. Avoid rehashing past mistakes, as this can hinder progress. If you struggle with letting go of past issues, seek guidance from a financial therapist.

Want more? Check out our blog, 6 Financial Fears and How to Conquer Them or you may be interested in Romance Scams: 6 Tips to Prevent Financial Ruin

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